EP75 Exploring Freedom and Emotional Health

We're igniting the spark of celebration for Independence Day, as your hosts, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford. Amidst our shared love for the holiday, we also gear up for the much-anticipated release of Angela's new book, "Traveling Light." Join us as we reveal the exhilarating journey of Angela's book writing, while also unmasking our deep personal connections to the holiday.

Ever wondered how mastering emotional control can catapult your life? Look no further as we unravel the mysteries of emotional intelligence using uncanny analogies of a drawbridge and a remote control. Alongside, we'll also venture into the realms of navigating hurtful words and setting boundaries. Let's embark on a journey of self-discovery, from the depths of our inner critic to the power of compassion and the freedom it brings.

As if that's not enough, we'll also take you back to the roots of democracy, capitalism, and freedom, while dissecting our complex feelings about these systems. From the lessons of history to the unique freedoms America offers, we leave no stone unturned. To top it all off, we dive into the profound power of love and how it offers freedom. So, brace yourself for an episode bursting with personal stories, insights, and thought-provoking discussions.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:11

Welcome everyone to today's episode of Be Freaking Awesome. I'm one of your hosts, sammy Kinnison, here with Angela Belford, and today we're going to be talking about the holiday that we're celebrating here in America on today and Independence Day, 4th of July. Angela, this is, if I believe correctly have my notes right This is one of your favorite holidays.

Speaker 2 0:37

It is one of my favorite holidays There's probably some question about. It's just halfway through the year, it's your middle of the summer, it's we. Also. July 1st is Canada day, so it's a whole celebration week. Perhaps, maybe that is it. I have always been a giant American Revolution nerd And so all that stuff. Like dude, people signed a piece of paper And if they would have lost the war they would have gotten hung as traders. That takes bravery, that takes courage. I'm all about freedom. So, yeah, i love the holiday. I'm also pretty patriotic. I have a huge history of military service in our family. My brother served for 20 years, my cousins, my uncle, my grandpa like anyway, lots and lots of military service. So give me a Lee Greenwood song and I'm going to be crying right there in the middle of fireworks every time.

Speaker 1 1:35

Speaking of fireworks, that is why this is also my favorite holiday. Definitely probably should have like a more sentimental reason that it's my third holiday, but really it's just because I'm a pyromaniac at heart and blowing stuff up is super fun And there's not a lot of times where you can like, reasonably and without judgment, set things on fire and blow stuff up, except for 4th of July. So it's a really good expression of my pyromania And thankfully my husband is also this way. Each year. We have to really try hard not to spend too much money on 4th of July just to basically burn our money hours later In any case.

Speaker 2 2:18

That reminds me, speaking of fireworks dude, the wedding that I went to in England. one of my favorite parts was there was like a 10 minute fireworks show. It was legit, Very, very cool way to go, and Bradbury on fireworks at her wedding.

Speaker 1 2:37

It was nice, very cool, super fun. So freedom today is our sort of our topic and you know, on the brain because of the holiday, but also on the brain because of your book. What's tomorrow, angela? What exciting thing could happen tomorrow related to your book. I'll let you announce it. I don't have to share your good news.

Speaker 2 3:00

You know, what's funny is that we record these podcasts a little bit in advance, and so there's only like minor sweating of going like, yeah, tomorrow's going to be pre orders are going to start. I mean, amazon has to cooperate and all the places have to cooperate, but the plan is that on July 5th my book will be available for preorder.

Speaker 1 3:24

Woo So exciting.

Speaker 2 3:28

We're going to not talk about all the nervous system responses going on in my body right now.

Speaker 1 3:34

Yeah, just dance it out, Dance it up, feel your emotions, let them, let them flow out of you.

Speaker 2 3:41

Yes, sweating, i put on a jacket because I was cold and now wish I didn't.

Speaker 1 3:49

So yes, if all goes according to your plan and if not, then you'll see it on the social media will have, at least on July 5th, an announcement of when pre orders. If it's not on July 5th, but assuming all of the powers that be cooperate, tomorrow you will be able to preorder traveling light by Angela Belford. Did you just say wow? Yep, are you okay? Tell us how it's happening, what's coming up for you?

Speaker 2 4:19

I mean this has been a long journey. It's been a very, very long journey. It has, i mean, it started in March of 21. And so I can't think about the finish line without thinking about the starting line. And there were so many times that I thought I would just throw it down and give up which I those long term listeners know that I did once, actually her way manuscript. So I mean I thought, well, i'll just wait a couple more years, and so that it's finally here is just a little bit overwhelming. And there's an element you know I had your long term listener. You know that all of 2022, we said it's coming this fall. It's coming this fall in 60 days and 90 days just kidding not happening. And so that was that's hard.

Speaker 2 5:15

When you're like a professional development person and you're all about goal setting, it's super hard to like be so open and out there about your goals and then to have to like pull them back and be like, ah, we didn't meet the deadline, and you know October 10th, 22. And so here we are, like the official publish day will be August 29, 2023. And so there's there's relief, it's finally here, there's joy that it's finally done. There's an element of like that's adorable, you think it's done. It means you just got to the starting line right. So, like you, you spend all of this time and effort and and we've talked on the podcast about just all of the loneliness of being an author. And then you now we get to promote the book and talk about it and and and hope that it is going to resonate. I so one part is like relief, one part is scared. The other part of me is super joyful because I have had a couple of people do some advanced reader work on it And specifically a client that's been a coaching client for six or seven months and their feedback has been just water for my, my dry soul and the, just the things that I've resonated with them and how they feel like it has been helpful already and how they felt like it really aligned with the coaching that I've done. That has been super encouraging.

Speaker 2 7:09

I had a psychologist friend of mine read it and get affirmation that it psychologically sound what I'm teaching. You know I only believed her because she told me on page 179, i was talking about the amygdala wrong. So therefore I fixed that And and if you look at it now those of you try to look it up. There won't be a 179 when we get to the final, but anyway, the fact that she, like, gave me such specific feedback, then I trusted the rest of her praise, so anyway, yeah. So freedom from the like constant need to like write and edit and write, and edit and write and write. Freedom promotion, because promotion is more extrovert work.

Speaker 1 7:54

Yeah, might you say freedom from the crap in your head.

Speaker 2 7:58

Freedom from the crap in my head, that might be what I have done free myself from the crap in my head, and you know it's always a journey And so it's. It's not like I have zero crap in my head. But when I think back to the just debilitating role that my inner critic had on me, despite lots of success in my life and what I experienced now, just the ability to think without like constant bombardment of of negative thoughts and questioning, it's just, it's so freeing It literally is just walking around lighter, and I can't help but share that.

Speaker 1 8:56

Yeah, you told me a fun metaphor I feel like you should share again. It's like a kid who gets a trampoline.

Speaker 2 9:03

Yes, yes, yes, seriously. Like, oh my gosh, I've just got the most fun toy on the planet. It's called trampoline And you should come over to my backyard and you should jump on the trampoline And there is a little bit like a trampoline. Like I can remember my very first concussion I think I think it was a conca, Anyway, whatever, not that my parents took me to the doctor, but certainly in case a whiplash came on trampoline. I was having a ton of fun And then all of a sudden you're jumping on a trampoline with a bunch of ninth grade football players and you fall down. It can be bad. We'll just say So. Anyway. This is not to say that this journey that we're about to embark on is all fun, Cause if you've ever gotten motion sick on a trampoline, if you've ever gotten hurt yourself on a trampoline, I'm not saying that there's not risks, but it is a ton of fun. Yeah, The results are at least worthwhile.

Speaker 1 10:00

Yeah Well. so let's talk a little bit more about the freedom that you kind of hope for other people to get from this book, or even just from the process. I know on the cover if you've not had a chance to see the cover it says it does still say right, yeah, at least. yeah, it says freedom from the crap in your head. So when I said that earlier, that's because that is on the front cover of this.

Speaker 2 10:25

Actually, no, it's twigged, it's for yourself. Ah for yourself. Free yourself from the crap in your head, because you can't just read the book and get freedom. You actually have to free yourself, you have to make friends with your fear. You have to go on your hero's journey. It is not a simple matter of insight. It is a matter of applying this to your life.

Speaker 2 10:50

I do think that there are some people that, even just in general conversation with me, i've given them some nuggets from the book and they're like whoa And you can tell that little nugget has helped them. So I would like to talk about the two different types of freedom that I think that I hope people will get from this book. I know we're supposed to do things in parts of three and maybe a third one will come up, but the primary two types of freedom that I wanna talk about is number one freedom from the just debilitating inner critic. And the second is freedom from, i would say, other people pushing your buttons on your remote control. You know I like to think about your emotions, not your emotions. I like to think about the way we react in the world. I think a metaphor for that is a remote control, and when people push your buttons and it activates you or triggers you. Those are the two types of freedom that I really hope to help people with. So which one do you wanna unpack first?

Speaker 1 11:59

Let's talk about the remote control.

Speaker 2 12:03

So, for starters, i think that when I started this process and whatever started this process looks like because you could go all the way back to 1998 when I had my nerves break down you could say back in 2007 when I quit my job to kind of explore who I was and kind of do some healing work, or you could look at the last three years. So there's been definitely different chapters of healing for me. But when I started I would say that my emotional control, my emotional intelligence, was like one of those all-in-one remotes, the big giant ones that will control your DVD player, your stereo, your TV. I know kids are like going what? What are you talking about? But imagine just going to your grandparents house and there's those giant remote controls that have like 97 buttons on. Nobody knows what they mean or what they're for. They're programmable, the all-in-one. But that was used to be. There was a lot of opportunities for people to push my buttons and kind of make me feel bad about myself.

Speaker 1 13:14

And sort of makes me think of the quote no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them.

Speaker 2 13:21

It's something about that.

Speaker 1 13:22

And yet also there are times where you could then hear that quote and then be like well, what's wrong with me that I let somebody else make me feel inferior, like I don't know, yeah, and then be freaking awesome.

Speaker 2 13:35

I introduced this drawbridge analogy where I say this thing, where people are, no one can make you feel, and I used to think that was total crap. I was like, yeah, they can. Like my husband does this thing, and then I feel this way. It's like cause and effect Right. And what I learned is that the drawbridge analogy if you were to go into the Amazon rainforest and you brought somebody out that had lived for generations in the Amazon rainforest and you took them to a drawbridge and a boat came down the river and the drawbridge came up and the boat came down the river drawbridge came up, you would ask the person that had lived in the Amazon rainforest for their whole life, for generations, what caused the drawbridge to go up? Well, of course, the boat. If the boat didn't come down, then the drawbridge. Now you and I, coming from an industrial society, know that it's not the boat. The boat is the trigger And what brings the bridge up is the engine.

Speaker 2 14:37

When I learned this idea, i was saying to my husband one time you can just float your boat on down the river, I am not gonna let you get me angry this time.

Speaker 2 14:48

And I really began to understand that, that someone can say something that's an event, and then I have to respond.

Speaker 2 14:58

I have an opportunity to respond, and when I respond and I add my response to the event, that gets to the outcome E plus R equals O, it's in be freaking awesome.

Speaker 2 15:14

And so that was kind of where I first started learning that idea And what I would say that is a little bit different with traveling light is that not only do I now understand that I have control of the drawbridge, i have control of my, i have had the ability to respond, but furthermore, as I have cleared away these toxic waste barrels of just stored up emotions, then my remote control now looks a little more like a Roku remote. It just has like the six or eight basic buttons, a power up and down, whoever paid to have their name put on there so that I could automatically quickly One or two shortcuts Right And so and that's to me that's perfect analogy, because I have, i have three beautiful, wonderful adult children and they know exactly, they have shortcuts, they know exactly how to get to me, and when they push that button I have to burn an inordinate amount of self control to not let them.

Speaker 1 16:30

Not let it My automatic response jump in Right So what's funny is that I also feel like I So like in talking about this book launch stuff and I'm working on helping plan a launch party, and I was like, oh man, i bet I could make her cry.

Speaker 1 16:49

I could kind of cry like the warm, fuzzy cry, and you want to know why. I know that I can make you cry because I know exactly which button to hit that will, like, speak to your heart in just the right way. That will be soothing and warm and fuzzy Like, so that it can work on the opposite side too. It doesn't have to be like an activating, but I also I know exactly which button to hit to make you like hit your right in the feels, and not that that's a good thing. I do want to clarify. That's probably something in me and it's not that I'm like, oh, i want to make her cry. But there is a part that I do want to help communicate the impact and really make sure that you you take a moment and appreciate the impact that you're having, and I know that you taking that moment to appreciate the impact Get you every time.

Speaker 2 17:37

I'm a little bit like a leagering with sign. I'm a little bit pre have love in response.

Speaker 1 17:45

Yes, So you can.

Speaker 2 17:48

it was like somebody can cut in like a good way and yeah yeah, my favorite, my favorite metaphor that I've I've explained to someone recently is like if you walk around with the belief about yourself that I'm not enough, somebody else I mean you just like put out like 12 to 15 different buttons on your remote control that anybody can push to activate the belief and to make you believe that it's true that you're not enough, i mean, and be freaking awesome. We talked about this. Is green hair right? If somebody says, oh my gosh, you have green hair, it's not going to bother you because you know it's not true. But if you secretly are a little bit nervous about that, and so I talked about that then. But now what I'm doing in this book is really unpacking the beliefs and kind of teaching people how to really clear those out, and so then you transplant the belief I'm not enough to I am enough.

Speaker 2 18:50

The example I used is like if you believe you're not enough and then you come home from dinner and your wife says Hey, did you pick up the milk? Oh my gosh, i suck, i'm horrible. You're right, dude. All they did was ask you to pick up the milk. Now they could also have some of their own buttons and they could like Oh my gosh, i'm not a priority to you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know this is when disaster strikes, is when our buttons kind of you know, you get like a little bit of baked soda a little bit of vinegar and boom.

Speaker 2 19:22

But if you transplant that belief and you now believe I am enough, then you come home and you're like Hey, did you pick up the milk? Oh my gosh, honey, i'm so sorry, i totally forgot. You just get to be a human who forgets sometimes And then you can fix it. Do you need me to go right now? Do can we go after dinner? Or can I bring it home tomorrow? And they could be like, oh well, actually we can get through dinner, we'll just run out after dinner. Or Oh, i don't need it tonight. Well, the kids need it tomorrow morning per se. So then you can just go through a decision making process and you haven't turned baking soda and vinegar into this little, you know volcano experiment in your house. So that's one kind of freedom is just, the fewer negative beliefs you have about yourself, the easier it is for you to navigate life without other people stepping on your buttons, stepping on a landmine that might be protecting you from toxic waste dump that has been down, mixing things around and waiting for an explosion.

Speaker 1 20:32

I want to add, i think my favorite metaphor which I know is not your favorite metaphor at all on this, but you are the one who started it, so I'm going with it Sometimes other people have their buttons pushed for whatever reason, Basically like if you were walking your dog and your dog pooped and you, like you know, put in a little bag, and they just throw that bag at you. Like, sometimes people throw their emotional garbage your direction. You can catch it and be like What the heck? And like now you have to deal with this. You can watch it fly by and be like Well, that was kind of gross.

Speaker 1 21:07

But like, okay, what are you going on to eat us through a bag of poop at me? Or sometimes, sometimes it can hit you because I think that there are times where I use this is that, like somebody else's emotions can impact you, whether you chose to catch it or not. And we still have to deal with that and process that and sometimes and figure out how to respond, how to clean ourselves up and go through that, even when we didn't choose. Sometimes we do choose to catch it and get right in the middle of it And then now we're all dealing with this and it's really not great.

Speaker 2 21:41

Yeah, there are absolutely things that people say that just hurt, right, like, that's just hurtful, and I think that probably what I where I was at before this journey and kind of after be freaking awesome was well, nobody can make you feel anything, which there's truth. And people say things that just like I mean, wow, that hurt And it's okay. This is what I think I've come to with with this book is to say Let's just stop for a minute And and and and take care of your inner child, your heart. However you want to think about it. I want to tell you a little person, you, and just say who that hurt. They had their own thing, they've got their own reasons.

Speaker 2 22:44

I don't know why they're thrown around their emotional dog poop. I want to take care of me And so that hurt. I want to cry for a minute. I want to. You know, i want to cry for whatever that I need to to feel that hurt, notice what's going on in my body, like, let it, let it fully come out and let it just like. And what's so great is that, whether you cry or You want to punch a pillow, you want to scream, whatever it is, so keeping and deciding that you're not going to pick up that emotional poop and throw it back at them. That emotional dog poop Golly. You know how much I hate poop, so it was really difficult for me to keep using this metaphor.

Speaker 1 23:41

But I know, i think it's so fun.

Speaker 1 23:45

I say regularly, like everyone you know this is all just the quick tangent. This is giving me a little bit of like a throwback to one time when I played cards against humanity with my mother-in-law And it was like with family and I very on purpose just picked I picked cards that did not relate to her card at all. I just wanted it to be like the most inappropriate thing for her to have to read out loud. because it was so it was sort of humorous for me to kind of watch her squirm. I know you listen to my guests and I definitely. I don't think I've ever told you a story that I did that on purpose, but every now and again.

Speaker 2 24:16

It's just which I think I just heard you say ah, I know a button I can push, Push And you are doing it to be hurtful.

Speaker 2 24:28

You were doing it to entertain yourself, which is also a thing. Right, like we can like me talking about. Somebody can say something and you could be like, wow, that really hurt me. What's interesting is that that person could say the same thing to you, sammy, that they said to me and it may not register as hurtful to you, and you're like, hmm, i don't know, it doesn't seem hurtful.

Speaker 2 24:58

There are a lot of things that that people get really upset about that I'm just like not my, not my issue, that doesn't. And what I think I have made the mistake of before is that I discount their response because I don't. I don't understand why it's hurtful to them And I think it's okay to say, wow, that that seems really hard for you. What, how can I, how can I be helpful right now? What, what do you need? Is there something you need from me? Do you need me to give you space to feel that feeling, to need a hug? Do I need to apologize? how can I, how can I help? if I've been hurtful and I didn't? There was no intent behind the hurt.

Speaker 1 25:44

And I think that sometimes even it can be helpful to think about when other things are sort of happening to us or things are being thrown at us. That doesn't have to mean anything about you. Like somebody else doing something and saying something mean and hurtful doesn't have to mean that you're not enough or you're not worthy or whatever it might mean. It doesn't mean any of those things. It really probably you know I know that, like our moms told us this that once of these bullying you are being mean to you, it says more about them than about you. They say that because it's true, because it is saying more about them that this is the way that they're reacting to things And we can it still hurts. We can tend to ourselves, tend to the needs that we have from that, and it doesn't have to mean anything more about us.

Speaker 2 26:39

It also I mean, we also get to then decide how we want to react. Yeah, Because we can simply say, hmm, that was that, that was kind of hurtful thing to say or that hurt me. I felt hurt when you said that.

Speaker 1 27:04

I think for me there's. there can be different kinds of responses. there can be the compassionate response to be like, wow, what hurt do they have that this is how they're reacting to others? Yep, there can also be. I need a boundary set and I can still have compassion for what hurt do they have that is causing them to hurt others in this way? And I'm also saying like, okay, this may not necessarily be the safest person and maybe I'm not going to open up about things in ways that they could actually hurt me on purpose and more intentionally, like I'm not going to give them more buttons, and that's okay to know that some people are not the most trustworthy with those buttons.

Speaker 2 27:44

Yeah, Yeah, I'm feeling a lot.

Speaker 2 27:49

I'm going to. I'm going to snip at this part out and like we're going to need a lot in 2024 with an election year, just like how people are going to say things and you get to decide what they mean, and there are things that people say that I think probably years ago would have seemed hurtful to me. that may not be, and you think about it in the way of physical injury. So when you sprain your ankle, you break an ankle, and you're healing and somebody bumps you, it does hurt a lot because you're still in that healing process and then, once you're stronger and it's just a scar, they can bump you and it doesn't actually register. So there could be some elements of this, like our, our response.

Speaker 2 28:37

One of the biggest messages I say in the book is that your emotions are just an opportunity to respond. So when you feel that hurt, when you feel those any kind of sensations come up, it's just an opportunity to get curious and to check it out and to see what's going on. Oh, that's interesting. Why did I think that was hurtful? What about that? Where's that coming from?

Speaker 1 29:09

We talked a lot about freedom from people being able to push your buttons. You mentioned a second kind of freedom freedom from the inner critic in your head.

Inner Critic and Freedom in America

Speaker 2 29:18

We've talked about the inner critic a little bit before, but we're going to probably talk about the inner critic a lot over the next few months, but the What I would say is that, as we have adopted these beliefs, i'm not enough. I don't have. What it takes, i'm not lovable. I think the inner critic is serving as the file room manager, if you will, and that it is looking for scanning horizon to find any opportunity to keep you from getting hurt again. And so, ironically, your inner critic is there to keep you safe. It's serving a role, it's done its job very effectively. Because you're still here, you've survived every hard thing that's happened. And so often people want to like ditch the inner critic and get rid of it, and I say, well, that's not necessarily that effective, because your survival mechanism in your brain is not going to actually let you do that.

Speaker 1 30:20

What I feel like so, just to interject. Sometimes people say I want to kick the inner critic out, like kick him to the curb. When you then face something that is unsafe, you give your inner critic ammunition to say see, you need me, i need to be here, you can't live without me. Different to fire them and then have to try to rehire them than to just say maybe open up it. You're not the board chair anymore.

Speaker 2 30:46

Yeah, and so also, if they are the file room manager and we have all these files that are like incomplete files, that tell us that we're not enough and that we're not lovable, well, if we can, like, complete some emotional cycles and get rid of those files and replant the belief I am enough, i have what it takes, then your inner critic has a lot less files to keep up with, so therefore their role is greatly diminished And it really is just coming online when you need to be actually kept safe. I wonder if I should jump off the bridge. Probably not, maybe, maybe you're attached to a bungee cord.

Speaker 2 31:32

Are you attached to a bungee cord? Are you over a big thing of water? Then, yes, maybe you could jump off a bridge. Funny, we live in Arkansas. Clearly, jumping off bridges and rock faces is absolutely a way that we are entertained, but typically those are above water, so it's just Well and it's still.

Speaker 1 31:49

it always throws off the whole thing. If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump to? I'm like I don't know How high is the cliff. Are we going to have some fun this weekend? Like, what lake are we jumping into? Yeah, maybe I'll jump off with my friends, or they're doing it.

Speaker 2 32:02

But your inner critic would hopefully notice, is the water deep enough for how far you would fall is your, you know. And so that's when there is just a lot smaller responsibility. If you can just imagine the the need for a file room credit manager in the 80s, before computerized files, right, it was a very big job keeping up with all that paper. And in the same way we just want to reduce the amount of paper that's kind of outstanding, kind of put those things Mark a mis-complete, archive those files so that you just give the inner critic a lot less tasks to keep up with. But they really are just making sure you're not going to, you know, burn your life down without a safety net.

Speaker 2 32:57

Yeah, lots of people that have quit their job and sold their house and traveled across the country and it was fine, they did just fine with that.

Speaker 2 33:04

They're in.

Speaker 2 33:04

Their critic weighed in and said, yeah, okay, well, here's how much money we have in the savings account and here's, you know, here's all the ripcords we can pull for the safety nets.

Speaker 2 33:13

So that's the thing is that if you have all of these files, these incomplete cycles that are constantly telling you you're not lovable, you don't belong, you don't have what it takes, then your inner critic has a lot of work to do, and I just want to that's what I hope that freedom that people get when this book is to kind of reduce the task load. Their inner critic is overworked, and so let's reduce the job description and reduce the job responsibilities and leave them on the board to remember the good old days, because, if you think about it in that role, the inner critic could also help build compassion, so that when you encounter somebody that still has a lot of those negative beliefs, then what if your inner critic reminds you oh, remember what it used to be like. It used to be very loud in your head and constant buzzing, and then you could have compassion for somebody that hasn't been on their journey yet and you could share this book with them.

Speaker 1 34:17

I'll be honest, this part still seems a little more out of reach in the two freedoms. I don't know. it's something about reclaiming my buttons. I'm like yeah, yeah, i see it, but something about like repurposing the inner critic, at least for me, that one's definitely a little harder to wrap my brain around.

Speaker 2 34:36

I don't have anybody else's feeling that, but I can totally relate, because a couple of years ago I would not have believed it was true. But I've seen it. I've not only seen it for myself, but I've seen it for others and it really is possible.

Speaker 1 34:54

That's cool, Yeah. So I think there is one more type of freedom that we can talk about today in particular. It's less related to your book, more related to holiday the indigenous day type freedom. What comes up for you whenever you think about sort of like American freedom.

Speaker 2 35:20

Man. That's super interesting because over the last couple of years I've been really active with a diversity, equity and inclusion policy, work for housing, and I see that the rules of society were written by white people. I am now acutely aware of how freedom isn't freedom for all. I recognize that while the American Revolution we were victorious, less than 100 years later our country was embroiled in the Civil War because we didn't resolve those freedom issues for everyone. And then 100 years after that, from 1776 to 1865 to 1965, and we are fighting the civil rights. And then I've also been fighting for civil rights.

Speaker 2 36:23

Yes, that's what I meant. The civil rights movement And I'm also in the last year began to get involved with the League of Women Voters, you know, and women have only had the right to vote for 103 years now, and so, and there are still so many areas where women struggle and fight for freedom. I mean, it's mind blowing to me that I believe it's 1976 before women were able to have a checking account by themselves. I was born in 1973. I'm not that old y'all, and to imagine that it has been within my lifetime, less than 50 years ago, since we were able to just have a checking account and a bank account all on our own, without having a mail sign, that's mind blowing. And so there are ways in which, you know, it's still not freedom for all.

Reflections on Democracy, Capitalism, and Freedom

Speaker 2 37:20

And I think what comes up for me is the frustration I have with people that believe that this is a zero sum game and that for women and people of color to have equity and to be equals in this game of American life, this game of Western society, that somebody has to lose, and in some ways, especially as somebody with a business major, it's just ludicrous to me because I'm like, wait a minute, but do you understand that if we had people were able to earn a living wage, there would be more dollars that could be spent in business establishments, right, there would be less people that would be on government welfare? Like? do you understand that the ability to give people actual freedom, economic freedom, would be? I mean, i forget how many trillion dollars of lost GDP America alone gets because they don't. We don't have a living wage for everyone, and so it's just. It's such a conflicting feeling for me because I'm such a you know, believer in democracy. I'm a capitalist through and through and not a corporatist, and I will probably go off on people that are like no capitalism. I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Right now we do not have capitalism, we have like shareholders. I was like shareholderism, shareholderism, like that is the all glory. To go to the shareholder of corporations. People that contribute small amounts of money by buying stock that are not contributing, versus the people that are actually contributing their labor to the business, are prioritized less than the people that contribute this amount of stock, and it's just. You know, if you go all the way back to capitalism's beginning, where it was the ability for someone to create a good or service and add value to the marketplace, and they could exchange that good or service for, you know, currency, which is what we trade in in our modern society. That was good. What is not good is the over prioritization of corporations and the over prioritization of shareholders, and the fact that there are corporations in America that use our streets, that they use our police force and our fire departments and they do not pay any kind of income tax. They use our entire society and they don't have to pay American federal income tax, and that's garbage, and I think that that is the kind of thing that has just wrecked capitalism in America. And so it's very hard, because I hear my friends that are democratic socialism and I'm like, oh my gosh, i married to a Canadian. I'm telling you there are some things about it that don't work, and there are some things about our system that don't work, and so it's a lot.

Speaker 2 41:02

I'm also such a student of history, you know, when I was in England and I got to go to the Churchill War Rooms. I've been to the Kennedy Presidential Library. There are some people who were influential in history, and what's interesting is that most of them were horrible humans. It's so fascinating to me. It's almost like you can't be a nice person and take on. You know, like for Churchill, you can't take on Hitler, right, And believe that you can win.

Speaker 2 41:34

I don't actually understand what that's about, why the people that make the most biggest impacts in history have been kind of just like, not the best humans, but they also were people of their time, right, so they weren't that unusual for their time. You know it'd be interesting. But then I think in our culture and our current culture, who are we gonna look back 50 years from now and think that was one of the great leaders? I'm looking around looking for that person And so and maybe it's because we're all trying to be better humans that there won't be the Churchill's and the Kennedys and the Lincolns of the world.

Speaker 2 42:12

I don't know, maybe Roosevelt was a nice guy I have no idea. Actually He's on my list of people to dive deeper Franklin Delano Roosevelt I know Teddy was a mess Roosevelt, but he also did a lot of good. So I think there's this like balance, and maybe that's the whole thing of freedom is that there is a balance, and I know that there are places in the world that you absolutely will never, ever, ever be able to buy a house and never, ever, ever be able to get ahead. And if you were crazy smart and you were born in those different societies, then you have no hope. So I know that America there is hope. I know there's a lot of people that like hate on Christianity and there's certainly some Judeo-Christian values that have gotten warped in America. But I also know that there's places in the world under different religious rulers where women are still property, where girls aren't allowed to have education.

Speaker 1 43:22

One of the things, though, that I think on that that makes America unique is that we, as much as people like to say it, we are not a Christian nation. We are a nation where people have the freedom to choose their religion. There are places that that is not allowed, even whatever your religion is, if you don't agree with your neighbor, you get that here. You get to not agree with your neighbor, you get to have a different religion, and that isn't available to everybody. I think that's something that is really special.

Speaker 2 44:01

I think there are places where you can disagree with your neighbor, but you can't disagree with people in power. Sure, that is dangerous. To disagree with Putin, for instance, that's dangerous. I'm glad we have it. It's interesting to travel, especially in Europe, and see some versions of it, of the American experiment. It's fun that people still think of us as an experiment. If you think of that that we are an experiment and I talk a little bit about goal-setting being an experiment there are some variables that we changed in the 80s that need to be tweaked again and we need to tweak our variables. There are some variables that we changed in the 2015-20-24 time frame that we need to absolutely like. Oh nope, that part of the experiment failed. We need to keep tweaking What I meant to say about the Churchill, the Kennedys.

Speaker 2 45:05

I am still enough of a fanatic that I believe that people, one person can change the world. The reason why, even though Arkansas drives me absolutely crazy when the legislature is in session, is that I know that I in Arkansas there are only like 3 million people here I can make a difference, and so and I've talked to somebody who was from Boston, massachusetts, and she said that there's like hundreds of people that are politically active and educated, and so she's like she's one of many, and when she moved back to Arkansas after 50 years, it's so empowering and inspiring to be able to be one person and make like huge changes here, because we are such a small state And I think when we can make a change here, then we can make a change in our Congress, and I think voting matters and I think every single vote counts and every single vote matters, and so that is what makes America the most glorious, beautiful experiment.

Speaker 1 46:14

I love it.

Speaker 2 46:15

Happy.

Speaker 1 46:16

Fourth of July. Happy Fourth of July. Go celebrate your Independence Day.

Speaker 2 46:23

Watch me a little, will Smith.

Speaker 1 46:25

Yeah, the Independence Day movie. you know at the end where they were hoping to speech. Anyway, thanks for chatting about freedom today, angela, and let's just as a reminder in case you forgot from the top tomorrow likely, you guys can pre-order the book And just so we know what it means to pre-order the book.

Speaker 2 46:47

When you pre-order the book, you'll be able to go on my website and you'll be able to record your transaction and you'll get an advanced digital copy.

Love and Freedom

Speaker 1 46:56

Everybody can join the launch team That's right And get some extra perks and bonuses. That will be all written out on the website. Yep, I don't say them all here because they're all finalized just yet, but they will be by the time this episode drops. So thanks for joining us. Any sort of last thoughts as people go?

Speaker 2 47:17

out. Man, i just kind of want to say, like, as much as I've talked about all sorts of other things, i just like love is the answer. Like I really truly I love sharing information. I love the people that we encounter. I love being able to offer freedom, and the reason why it was freedom from the crap in your head versus free yourself is that you do have to like. it is an offer to people to be able to go on their own hero's journey, and I just send this with so much love.

Speaker 1 47:59

I love it. Thanks everybody for listening. We hope you guys go and have a freaking awesome day.